


do your wings fit good?

by leithvoid



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-24 14:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18166121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leithvoid/pseuds/leithvoid
Summary: can you fly?





	1. Weight

Death sat beside me, in the empty chair. it didn’t belong to him, but is was his seat. i didn't need to look over to know who he was, nor did i expect it to be anyone one else.

there was a soft haze that followed him around when he showed up. a haze that slowly made your vision blurry. made you feel slightly colder, even make you feel less present in reality.

you know when people say when you die someone will come and greet you? that they will show you the way to the light and hold your hand as you get there? that they will help you through it? he was just that.

i couldn't see him, but i could feel the heavy weight of his entity, he was cold but to me brought a warmth. he seemed to know why he was there and didn't disrupt the service. 

i felt a hand rest on my leg above my knee. it was not my love, who was sitting to me on the other side, in her black dress and her vail. though i could not see him, i felt him, i felt his comfort. i didn't look towards where he was sitting because i knew the seat would be empty.

now when i go places, i will always have two seats vacant next to me.

_ 'remington, you don't need to go over there tonight.' i tried to tell him. i knew he should have waited till morning. _

_ 'em i need too, he needs me.' remington prompted. i sighed, i wasn't going to be successful in stopping him. _

_ remington was hit by another car while he was riding. he died on impact.  _

_ my phone rang at 2:00 AM. _

_ 'hello?' i answered, rubbing my eyes as i tried to focus on the voice coming from the other side of the line. _

_ 'is this emerson kropp?' the lady asked on the other side of the phone. i nodded, then realised she couldn't see me. _

_ a weight sunk on the side of my bed, my heart slowly tore 'yes.' i replied, voice shaking as i sat up in my bed. shy still asleep next to me. _

_ the weight on the edge of my bed was comfort, but i knew who it was, i knew what it meant. 'is remington leith kropp your brother?' she asked. _

_ 'yes.' i couldn't say anything else, i knew what was coming. _

_ 'i'm sorry to inform you mr kropp, but your brother has passed away. he is at the good samaritans hospital.' she informed, voice stable and matter of fact. 'we need you to come down and identify him.' she finished. _

_ shy rolled over next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. i looked down at her. her eyes still closed, still sound asleep - unaware. _

_ tears nipped at my eyes, threading to fall. but the weight sitting on the end of my bed gave me some kind of fight to keep them in. 'i'll come down now.' i said, voice cracking slightly towards the end of the sentence.   _

_ 'no problem, see you shortly.' she said and the line went dead. my screen went black and i held it in my hand. i looked down at it like it was supposed to do something, maybe i was waiting for it to ring and for it to be remington, or even sebastian.  _

_ i sat for a moment, not sure what to do. these things never seemed real until you see them dead. remington was still alive until i saw he wasn't. right now he was on his way home from luis'.  _

_ remington wasn't lying on a steal ‘bed’, under a thin sheet, cold and lifeless. 'seb?' i asked into the darkness of the room, quiet enough that shy wouldn't hear, but enough that he would hear. _

_ though i knew he could not answer me, he was there with me. 'go be with him.' i said, voice cracking. slowly tears started to run down my hot cheeks. the weight on the end of the bed lifted and i knew seb had gone to be with remington. _

_ i looked down to shy, asleep peacefully next to me. my everything, my peachy. i didn't want to wake her, i didn't want to tell her but in needed too. 'shy?' i whispered, placing my hand softly on her shoulder and giving her small frame a soft rock. 'you need to get up.' i said, noticing her eyes opening slowly. though dark my eyes had adjusted.  _

_ 'everything okay babe?' she asked, her voice soft, angelic, even for 2:00 AM. _

_ 'we need to go to the hospital.' i told her, she slowly sat up. looking into my eyes, her's wide. _

_ 'how come? what's happened?' she asked, slight anxiety in her voice. she reached for the night lap on her side of the bed and turned it on. she was faced with my tear lined face, she reached for my hand which sat in my lap. my phone still held in my other. _

_ 'what happened em?' she asked, trying to not push me but also wanting to know. _

_ 'rem was in an accident...' i trailed off, unable to finish my sentence.  _


	2. Holding

_ ‘is he okay?’ she asked, worry filling her blue eyes. i shook my head slightly. My greasy hair moved with it slightly. i’d not wiped my face yet from the tears that slickened my skin. _

 

_ she squeezed my leg and tried to hold herself together, though she was good at hiding her feelings. she wasn’t going to try hid them much right now. seeing as this wasn’t the first time we’d been through this. _

 

_ she got up, letting her motherly instincts set in ‘okay let me get your coat, for you. it’s going to be okay babe.’ she opened the wardrobe and pulled out my black trench coat and her fluffy black hoodie.  _

 

_ she pulled her’s on as she walked over to me, i felt so heavy i didn’t want to stand up, i didn’t think i could. ‘you have to stand up babe, c’mon,’ she tried, she lay the coat on the bed and helped me me to stand. though she was so much smaller than me she was still able to help me.  _

 

_ she knew what had happened just by how i seemed in the car ride over to the hospital, she also knew because of how i finished telling her remington was in an accident. ‘why him?’ i asked into the empty air, though, of course i didn’t expect an answer from her she replied anyway. _

 

_ ‘it was his time peachy,’ she said turning into the hospital parking lot. she seemed so clam, but i guessed that was just a technique she’d learnt for work - how to stay calm in emergency situations. we sat in the car park for a moment, both readying ourselves for another round of seeing a family member on a cold table under a sheet. _

 

_ ‘okay.’ was all i said before opening the car door, shy following suit. we both came around to the back of the car, her small hand wrapping around mine. her being there provided a lot more comfort than many will understand. _

 

_ it was more of a mental comfort. her soul was mine, and mine was her’s we shared the same pain, love and happiness. she was my rock, as i was her’s. her shoes clicked on the floor of the hospital as we walked to the reception desk. _

 

_ it was to bright inside, it hurt my eyes.  _

 

_ ‘we’re here to identify someone.’ shy’s soft voice spoke. there wasn’t a shred of upset in it, it made me feel slightly less scared. working in the field she did, she was able to turn the emotion in her voice off to help aid her in her patients situations.  _

 

_ ‘of course, just head down this hallway here,’ the lady gestured to her right ‘there is a desk down there that will help you.’ the lady smiled at shy and then too me but i didn’t see. shy squeesed my hand and i followed her as she walked down the hallway we were directed too. i didn’t have much in me, i felt very lost. _

 

_ just as we reached the small office a felt Death standing beside me. he stood next to me as shy spoke to the man who stood behind the desk, i wasn’t listening till shy tugged on my sleeve - bringing me back to reality. ‘love, they need your ID.’ she said, i nodded. i dug into my pocket and pulled out my wallet handing it to her. _

 

_ i really didn’t do much for the part of this process, i just did what shy told me to do. i stated my name, address, birthday, relation to the victim.  _

 

_ Death stood close to me, hands on my shoulders. though not distracting me, he pulled me close. _


	3. Service

‘you okay peachy?’ shy asked me. her hand was tight around mine as i sat in my chair, her hand rested in my lap. getting through this part was the worst. the over affection people gave you ‘the im sorrys’ and ‘my condolences’ none of it meant anything to me.

i watched the celebrant speak of my second older brother, the video played of photos of him with a song in the background that michael had chosen. i looked over to my best friend who was sitting beside me, he didn’t wear sunglasses, he let people see his tears.

i reached my other hand over to his and held it, gripping it tightly. michael and i had grown up together, my brother’s where like his. we were family. so this was equally as hard for him. we shared a look at each other and then waited for the service to be over.

once everyone had left, just shy, michael and myself standing now where reamington was buried. next to my oldest brother. both now angels, looking down over me. following me in my mind. ‘do you think that he knows?’ michael asked. at first i wasn’t sure what he meant, then i realised he was talking about sebastian.

‘i think seb was there when he went,’ i replied ‘he took him up there.’ i looked up through the trees. shy hovered next to me, not close enough to be in my space.

‘do you want to stay at ours tonight?’ shy asked michael. i was still looking up at the sky, though i know really there was nothing there but i could see them.

‘yeah, thank might be a good idea.’ he admitted.

#

i sat alone outside, shy and michael were making dinner inside. i felt Death sit next to me, i knew he was here for me ‘do their wings fit good?’ i asked him. Death could be anyone or anything, i knew this wasn’t either of my brothers, this was who took them.

there was no reply like i expected. ‘can they fly?’ my voice filling the void of space in front of me. when we were kids we always wanted to know what it was like to fly, i just hoped now that even if i was here alone on this earth. that they could fly.


	4. Fault.

Remington was on the way back from Luis' when he was hit and after the service Emerson started to fill with anger for Luis. He told Remington he didn't need to go, Luis could have waited till the morning, but no Remington was crawling back to his one love because he'd do anything for him. Even if Luis was a bad person.

The one thing Emerson could never stand about Remington was how in-love he was with Luis, and how non-in-love with Remington Luis was. Luis used Remington for: money, sex, anything really. And it irritated Emerson to no ends. He tried telling his brother, over and over, but he never listened. 

_ 'He doesn't love you Rem, please.' Emerson tried, firsts clenched. _

_ 'You'd do it for Shy.' Remington rebutted. _

_ 'She loves me, Rem he doesn't. why can't you see that?' Emerson felt frustrated. _

'I blame him.' Emerson finally said, sitting on the sofa zoned out next to Austin and Michael. They were playing some game on the Wii, Emerson wasn't so interested in. Austin sat down next to Emerson and placed a long arm over the back of the sofa where he was sitting.

'Who?' He asked, of course he probably didn't know what Emerson was even talking about, they couldn't hear his inside his mind.

'Luis.' Michael said, continuing his turn. 'Em, you gotta let it go. If you don't you know Rem would hate you for it.' He insisted.

'Remington's dead Michael, he can't feel anything. He's fucking dead because of Luis...' Emerson shot back, fire in his mouth 'Luis  _ needed _ him, when in fact he was just  _ using _ him.  _ Again _ .' Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. Anger flowing through him like blood.

Michael looked at Emerson, hurt in his eyes at the bluntness of the words coming from Emerson. 'Remington would want you to move on with you life, get married, have kids...' Michael said sitting down next to Austin. 

_ 'Emerson, you can't be angry. Seb wouldn't want this.' Remington would have wrapped his arms around his younger brother. _

Austin sighed 'He might be dead Em, but Rem will live on in you.' He softly explained 'Just like Sebastian does, like your mother does. They are you, you share the same DNA. Your their body now Em.' Austin finished, wrapping an arm around Emerson's shoulders. 

_ 'He lives on in us, we can still make a name for him, he is always, always going to be our big brother. That's not going to change ever. He courses through our veins. We can make him proud.' Remington tired. Holding Emerson in his arms. _

The anger had left Emerson and was swapped with sadness - all over again. He cried into Austin's shoulder.

Michael sat quietly, looking down at the Wii remote. His best friend was gone... forever. 

Austin's friend, gone forever.

Emerson's closest, brother, only biological family left was... gone.

There was a knock at the front door. It didn't stop Emerson from crying, 

Austin didn't let go of him. Michael got up and answered the door. As the door opened his heart sunk. It felt like the life in him was pulled from his chest intently. 


	5. Arms

Michael’s mouth was open slightly, not sure if he was even able to say anything. The air was knocked right out of him. Speechless.

 

Arms wrapped around his shoulders, they were long enough to wrap around him and the fingers wrapped around his straight arms. He didn’t hug back. Their head rested on his shoulder, slightly turned into his neck, their skin was cold.

 

_ ‘When we where kids we would run around digging holes in the backyard like kids.’ Michael laughed, drink in hand and one arm around Remington’s shoulders.  _

 

_ ‘I remember yelling at you two to stop it before mum got home!’ Sebastian recalled the memory well, gin in front of him on the kitchen table. ‘While I tried to make sure Emmy here wouldn’t draw on the damn white walls.’ he laughed taking a sip of his drink. _

 

_ Emerson shrugged ‘I was just trying to express myself, you were suppressing me.’ he replied half heartedly.  _

 

_ ‘Well if he didn’t then we might not have had your skills now, and we definitely couldn’t run the band without you Em.’ Remington said, reaching across the kitchen counter to ruffle Emerson’s slightly damp hair. He tried to bat Remington’s hand away but eventually failed. _

 

_ Michael and Sebastian laughed at the scene.  _

 

_ ‘Alright, enough you two.’ Seb said, reaching over to hold Remington back. Seb’s hand looked a lot bigger when spread across Remington’s chest. Rem put his hands up in surrender. _

 

_ ‘Anyone want something?’ Michael asked the brothers, who looked to him. He had his phone out ‘getting pizza.’. _

 

_ Remington grabbed Michael’s phone from his hand ‘why even ask? You should just know what our orders are.’ he put in the order. _

 

_ ‘I do dumbass, I just wanted to know if you were feeling pizza.’ Michael laughed taking his phone back from Remington.  _

 

_ The group drank and ate pizza while they played Wii games in the living room. Play fighting with each other and playing with the dogs. The night felt like it would go on forever, everyone was happy. It was what true happiness felt like to Michael, those three boys and him, the dogs and just being together. _

 

‘Everything good Michael?’ Austin called from the living room, still holding Emerson who had calmed down a bit now.

 

‘Y-yeah, fine!’ Michael got out. He was so confused. Was this real? What was happening? 

 

He felt his chest tighten, he felt like he was breathing in less air. The person slowly let him go, hands now holding his arms as they looking down into his eyes. Michael felt light headed, his eyes got heavy. 

 

‘I’ve got you, no need to worry.’ Death whispered to the boy.

 

As the boy fell forward into his embrace once again, his arms wrapped around the back of the boy and then under his legs. Death carried the brunette out of Emerson’s home. For a moment, he looked back, Dead did, he looked through the open door. He saw his brother, curled up on the sofa with Austin wrapped around out.

He knew Shy was out of town tonight, on business. 

Just because Death had his job, did what he did, it didn’t mean he didn’t feel anything. He knew this, this was going to break his little brother. But order’s where orders. 

‘I’m sorry Em.’ Remington said, as he tore his eyes from the open door. He walked down the steps and into the woods across the street from Emerson’s house. Eventually he disappeared with Michael in his arms.

There was a loud thud that alerted the two on the sofa ‘Michael?’ Emerson asked, getting up and making his way to the front door. Michael was laying on the floor, unconscious. ‘No, no, no, no.’ Emerson said running to his best friend. 


	6. Luis

Luis sat on the side of his bed, eyes red. His heart hurt. He wasn't invited to the funeral for Remington, which he guessed he understood. 

Emerson didn't like him. Emerson never liked him, he didn't understand. Emerson would always say he was using Remington, but for what? All he ever got out of Remington was love and support.

Luis sighed, he needed to get out of the house. Maybe getting hit by a truck, would be better than this.

He got up from his bed and grabbed his coat on the way out, into the cold. He walked down his road and onto the main road, towards the overpass. 

_ 'I love you, so much.' Luis cooed as Remington nestled his head into Luis' side. _

_ 'I love you too,' Remington looked up into Luis' green eyes. There way nothing more Luis could have asked for nothing more. Everything was perfect right now, Remington under his arm curled up next to him.  _

_ There was a show playing on the TV that Remington had picked, but Luis wasn't paying attention he was so distracted by Remington. 'Stop staring at me.' Remington said. Luis blinked at the other, he rubbed his hand up and down Remington's arm. _

_ 'Make me.' Luis laughed in reply.  _

_ Remington laughed, pulling the pink blanket over his head 'You can't see me now!' Luis wrapped his arms around Remington's sides and tickled him, he let got of the blanket and laughed uncontrollably while grabbing at Luis' hands. _

_ 'Stop, Stop!' Remington wheezed, tears leaking from his eyes from how much he was laughing. _

_ 'Okay, okay...' Luis let go of Remington and raised his hands in a vote of surrender. Remington didn't seem to care as he climbed on top of Luis and pinned his hands down above him. _

_ 'You can't get away with it that easily.' He hummed, grin on his face. He leaned in close to Luis, noses almost touching 'No one just gets away with tickling me.' _

_ Remington let go of Luis' hands and jabbed his hands into Luis' sides 'No!' Luis whined as he tried to fight off Remington. The two wrestled each other for a few minutes, giggling and rolling around on the bed before Luis finally got the upper hand. _

_ Luis was stronger than Remington so he was able to actually hold the other down and stop him from tickling him, the two out of breath looked into each other's eyes. Luis leaned close to Remington, Remington picked his head up and kissed Luis 'Got you...' Remington whispered.  _

The wind was strong against his body, his face taking the cold. As he reached the overpass he whipped his face free of tears and the wind grew stronger due to the passing traffic underneath him.

He walked the sidewalk of the overpass and looked down over the railing, he'd never really thought about ending his life before. He was lucky enough to have a good run with his mental health. But now, the world had changed around him. The one thing he loved was gone, the one consent and positive thing was gone and he was never coming back.

Someone stood under the bridge, they where a dark figure and Luis knew it was Death. Death was always on time, never mistaken. 'When you come for me, my feet won't touch the ground...' Luis whispered.

He took in a deep breath and climbed over the overpass barrier and closed his eyes. Letting all his air out as he let go. It was like slow motion as he fell, there were no sounds that came from him as he descended to the cold hard floor. 

Luis died on impact. 

Remington stood next to his body, he kneeled down taking Luis' hand in his 'Come with me.' He asked. Luis stood up, hand still in Remington's, leaving his human shell behind and walking into the woods with Remington. 

Where he was mean to be, with his love.


	7. 2 Years Later

Shy wrapped her arms around Emerson’s waist as he cut up vegetables for dinner. He smiled at her presencent’s, he was so thankful for her existence. He didn’t think he would be here without her. The two had moved out of California a month after Luis death. They moved to Vaginia, where there was lots of woodland somewhere they could be away from the world. Emerson always felt more at home near the woods, and even though they lived near some woodland in Los Angeles it was just bad memories.  

Shy was happy to move to of the city, somewhere serene and quiet. Somewhere they would finally be alone and isolated from the world. Somewhere they could raise a family and grow as people. It took Emerson some time to move past all the deaths he’d experienced, it also took Shy time. Now they were not so much affected by the deaths they experienced but they had taken them in and grown from them.

‘What’s for dinner love?’ Shy asked appearing at the side of Emerson. 

‘Bolognese.’ He replied, leaning down to kiss her head. Shy knew the only time Emerson ever cooked spaghetti bolognese was on Sebastian's anniversary or Sebastian’s birthday. The technique they had come up with was to cook their favourite food on their anniversaries and birthdays. It calmed Emerson because he liked to cook and it calmed Shy when Emerson cooked.

‘It looks amazing so far darling.’ Smile kissed his shoulder before turning to set up the table. She got out three bowls and placed them around their small wooden table and lit some of the candles that were placed in the middle of the table.

Austin had flown over for the week to spend time with the couple. These were times when the couple had an open door policy to Austin, well really anytime was an open door policy for Austin. But these times especially. Austin was currently asleep upstairs, and Shy went up to go get him and Emerson finished cooking their meal.

Shy knocked on his door quietly, there was no answer. Shy turned the handle and opened the door slighting looking in, Austin was curled up on the bed under the blankets. His eyes were closed, she walked in and approached the bed resting a soft hand on Austin’s shoulder. ‘Austin, hon, dinner.’ 

Austin groaned as he opened his eyes to see Shy kneeling next to him ‘Thank you, I’ll be down in a minute.’ he told her, she smiled and nodded leaving him to go back downstairs to Emerson. Austin got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt and walked down to the table where Emerson was dishing out the food.

‘Afternoon sunshine.’ Emerson smiled at Austin as he sat at the table.

‘Afternoon chef.’ Austin replied, playful smile on his face. Joking around with Emerson would never get old. ‘Looks amazing Em, like always.’ he smiled to his best friend.

Austin liked coming over here for these dates, it was important to him to spend time with Emerson and Shy. They where his family, and he knew without them he would find it hard to get by. ‘Do you wanna say anything before we eat?’ Shy asked him, he shook his head looking to Emerson. Emerson always said the same thing at these dinners.

‘I hope your wing’s fit good, I hope you can fly.’ Em said quietly, he didn’t need to raise his voice for the others to hear him. It was more for himself than for anyone.

‘Dig in.’ Shy smiled and they table started to eat. To their right there was a wall of sliding windows that sometimes Emerson opened when he smoked weed in the house, out the corner of Em’s eye he saw a man standing at the farthest end. He wore all black, was tall and thin, Emerson didn’t look up because he knew who it was.

It was Sebastian. He came around every now and again, they sometimes exchanged words. Yet, they never touched. Emerson knew that was the trigger, and even though sometimes all he ever wanted was to hug his oldest brother, he knew he couldn’t.


	8. End

Emerson laid down on his hospital bed, he’d not been able to get up in sometime. The car accident he had that killed Shy and their son, almost ten years ago, Emerson ended up paralyzed. At first it was hard, it never got easier for him, no longer being able to draw, walk or talk. He just laid in the bed, day after day wishing he would die - be gone from the world that’s only ever given him pain and hurt.

In the last six months he’d gained the ability to talk only slightly, with years of physiotherapy and rehabilitation he’d gained some movement back in his hands and arms, but he still couldn’t walk. If he had a pen and paper he would have been fine to be alone in his room, drawing till he died. 

Austin didn’t visit much,. he’d come to see Emerson on his birthday - Austin was all Emerson had left in the world who he called family. Some nights when he couldn’t sleep he wondered why the world hadn’t taken Austin from him, just like it did with everyone else he loved.

‘Mr Barrett, you have a visitor.’ A nurse came in to let him know. Emerson put his pencil down and nodded, stiffly. Even though the doctor and nurses insisted on calling Emerson by his first or last name, he refused. 

‘Hey Em,’ Austin appeared from the door, he had a backpack on and a dark trench coat covering himself. Emerson smiled at his friend.

‘Hey.’ He said, quietly. The nurse left them, Austin closed the door behind her to give them some privacy. He walked over and sat next to Emerson’s bed, pulling off the backpack.

‘How are you doing?’ Austin asked, voice calm and welcoming. 

‘I’m better now you’re here.’ Emerson said slowly, getting a lot of words out look longer not due to the paralysis. Austin smiled.

‘I’m glad.’ He replied ‘I brought what you asked for, by the way. So, we can try tonight.’

Emerson asked Austin to bring him a drug, one he didn’t know much about but knew that it was easy to consume and buy enough to overdose on. Emerson was going to kill himself, or more like Austin was going to kill him because Emerson didn’t have the movement ability to do it himself. When Em first brought up the idea with Austin, Austin didn’t want to do it. But every year he was him Em looked worse and worse. 

***

Austin injected the lethal dose into Emerson's arm. As time passed Emerson started to drift off. Every time he blinked the room would fill up with someone new. Sebastian, Remington, Michael, Luis, their mother, his son and finally Shy - who stood right next to the bed. Emerson looked around at everyone he’d lost. His heart squeezed in his chest, he looked to Austin sleeping in the chair next to his bed. 

‘Rem, can you-’ Remington nodded before Emerson even finished his sentence. Remington walked over to their friend and slowly wrapped his hand around Austin’s shoulder. Austin woke up, eyes wide looking to Emerson.

‘It’s okay, it’s Rem.’ Emerson told Austin. The older male looked up over his shoulder and saw Remington standing there, hand on his shoulder. Austin looked back to Emerson who nodded to Austin. 

Austin rested his hand on Remington and slowly drifted away.

Emerson took Shy’s outstretched hand.

Finally they were all together again, like nothing had ever changed. Wednesday night pizza night’s with the boys. Dinner with his family on Sunday’s. It was hard to believe they were all dead. This was the after life.

***

_ Sebastian woke with a start, sitting upright in bed heart pounding out of his chest. He looked around in the dark for a moment trying to get his bearings, where was he? _

_ ‘You good Seb?’ Luis’ voice came from the buck across from him on the tour bus. Sebastian pulled back the curtain. _

_ ‘I just had the worst fucking dream Lui.’  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.


End file.
